To Spank or not to Spank
| I think that there is BIG difference between spanking and hitting/beating. No child should EVER be hit or beaten. However, a well placed swat on the rear can be an effective tool if used properly. Very young children are not cognatively capable of reasoning with you. Sometimes, the only way to get through to them is to smack them on the butt (or hand, if you prefer). Also, when a child is going to do something that will cause them bodily harm (ie. running in the street), you can't take the time to try and reason with them. They could be dead or otherwise injured by the time you finish talking to them. I think that when children get old enough to start being reasonable and capable of really understanding, then spanking should end. I do, on occassion, swat my 3 year old. He isn't quite reasonable yet. However, unless he's in danger, or really being particularly naughty, I do try time out and other things first. Spanking shouldn't always be one's first alternative. However, I rarely , if ever, touch my 8 year old. Other forms of discipline are effective by this age. Both of my children have been spanked and aren't any worse for wear. They don't feel abused and I don't feel abusive. Teaching proper behavior and discipline is a parent's job and spanking is just one tool that can be used (but not abused) to this end. Leah |
| This is a tough question. In principal and theory I don't believe in spanking. In practice, I must confess, I have done it with my son. At times, when I am at the end of my rope, I do spank him. I fear it's usually from extreme frustration and I tell myself at that moment that it's the right thing to do. The truth is that I ALWAYS regret it. It's a few swats on the behind and it doesn't hurt him (except his feelings) but it hurts me deeply. I really do not want my child to learn that the way to get someone to follow the rules is by physical force. It's a dilema I don't have to face often, fortunately. |
| Spanking is a good form of disipline when used as a last resort. A spanking should consist of a few swats on the bottom no more swats then the child's age. Spanking is most effective if used for children 2yr.-5yr old; and spankings should leave no marks! |
| I do not spank, and I am pretty much an advocate against spanking. I am taking some child abuse courses and the statistics are staggering. Spanking has been proven to not be effective. It does just the opposite, creates new behaviors called aggression. It also creates guilt for thinking they are a bad person, not good for a child's growing self esteem. A child learns that the only way to deal with their peers is to hit them. There are other ways to regulate your child's behavior, depending on how old they are. Toddlers can be redirected (we color in the coloring books, not on the walls, now you need to help mommy clean the walls because you colored them), school aged children can have natural consequences (forget to wear your bike helmet? Too bad, you lose your bike privaleges for a week) Want advice from experts? I have a great read, Dr. Sears makes a good discipline book, and there is a new one called "Loving regulation" by Pieper and Pieper. OK I will step off my high horse now! ;) Just a subject I am pretty passionate about. ~chasenbabies |
| about spanking...i think it is a good thing....but i always try to make them fear me first...i want my kids to fear me first...im here to be dad and then thier friend second....first i try fear if that dont work then i smack the little butts.... |
| I'm still only 20 but I am a mom. My daughter is not old enough to be disciplined(7 1/2 mos.). However, I wanted to share my memories of being spanked. My mother smacked me when I talked back and I have no bad thoughts on that. My dad used the belt and I remember fearing him and secretly loathing him. I was a well-behaved child and wasn't spanked often. My father never left marks and the pain never persisted but the feelings I still remember being at the receiving end have convinced me to try anything else with my own daughter. |
